Friday, October 18, 2013

The Babysitter

Note from the Author
I tried writing this from the perspective of a 1st or 2nd grader. It was hard to figure out where I should show more of a childish mindset, and where I should just keep it simple. So if any words sound weird, they were intentional.
                                                                              

     
     There it was again. The loud rhythmic clap that signaled us to be quiet. 
     "Snack time?" was the phrase I heard from a few people around me.
     I looked at the teacher who had made the noise, wondering if it really was time for snack. This teacher always picked something good.
     "You all need to be more quiet! Justin!" I turned to look at my leggo-buddy, "When I am talking, you need to listen, ok?" Justin stopped talking. It was scary. This person was scary. Her voice was loud and made me want to hide.
     "Ok, so if you are all ready," she said in a gentle voice, like the one my mother uses when she asks me to set the table for dinner. "Please wash your hands and sit down for snack."
     We did what we always did, some of the older kids did it slower, but we all did it. We prayed and they began handing out snack. I turned to my friend and talked about our plans for our leggo tower.
     "Here you go, sweetie." I heard and turned to see the scary teacher, smiling nicely like my class teacher, handing me my snack. I smiled back, which caused her lips to curve to an even bigger smile.
     The hallway was becoming so loud, just like recess. I wanted to go back into the room with Grace so we could finish our tower, but the big kids were yelling and throwing gold fish at each other. Big monkeys. I was never gonna get to do my tower with these big important punks acting like my little brother.
     "Hey, hey, hey!" They all were quiet. Wow. "You are all sixth graders, but you're acting like--no worse--than the kinder gardeners. We will not go inside until all of you are quiet and all the food is picked up off the floor." 

     They all started cleaning up super fast. As they did, the girl handed Grace a couple of extra gold fish and giggled. 
     The girl came and sat with us as we built our leggos. Working quietly on her own weird toy. It looked like she was making the Beyblades we would make in Kinder garden. She must not know how to build much. If it looked like we were looking for something, she would stop whatever she was doing and help us find it. One of the new first grade girls needed something off of the big shelf and before the girl could even ask, the teacher had already gotten it for her and gave it to her silently with a smile and patted the first grader on the head before she came back to sit with us, and made another Beyblade. 
     I stared at her sneakily like a ninja, not allowing her to see. She looked like she needed a nap. Or, at least, that's what her yawn told me. She rubbed her eyes and put down the leggos and looked around the room. She lazily got up and sat with a fifth grader who was playing mancala alone, taking away a fourth grader's paper airplane that he took from another boy. The teacher and the fifth grader started a game together, and the teacher became more happy and talked with a nice voice. 
     After a long long LONG time, my mom finally got me. The teacher signed me out so I could leave, and gave me a smile that made me want to smile back. She told me to have a good weekend. I held out my hand for a high-five. She laughed and hit my hand, but not too hard thankfully. I liked this side of her better.

2 comments:

  1. Leyla, this is a great piece! It definitely is hard to write from the perspective of a child; I tried to do that in mine, but ended up opting for another story. I think that you did it well, and that it really does exhibit you well, and I found the last two paragraphs funny, though I'm not sure why. Maybe it was the childlike terminology. Anyway, great job on this one, Leyla!

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  2. Great "voice" Leyla! I could definitely hear the small child reporting these observations, and you did a wonderful job indirectly characterizing yourself as someone who can be both intimidating and also very gentle and loving. Nice use of dialogue in helping that characterization, and great job with correct formatting, sentence fluency, etc.
    15/15

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